I am not an It

I started this blog because I wanted to be funny and make people laugh, but the harsh reality of this world is that sometimes even the funniest person can cry the hardest. In the past 2 years I have lost both my parents and my sister was killed. Sometimes I'm OK and can function properly.  Sometimes I don't even want to get out of bed, but I do because even though I may suffer from depression, my bills don't and they still have to get paid. The worst part are the dreams...I have dreams all the time of either my mom, my dad, my sister, or a combination of the 3. I have a lot of dreams where I go back in time and warn my sister not to go walking on that beach. I warn her that she will die if she goes. I tell her everything and we end up laughing at how crazy I sound. She's safe. She's always safe. However, I wake up and reality hits and I know that she's not safe and the accident did happen. I have dreams where my parents are alive as well. Some days I'm ...

At least it is now. It hasn't always been that. When I was born I had a different name. Meghan Weiner. There were several other baby girls in the nursery on the warm September day that I was born. Several of the others were named Meghan (or Megan...or however their parents decided to spell it) My parents were planning on naming me Erin. Which is ironic, but we'll get back to that at a later point and time. Anyways. Yeah. I was born Meghan after my dad heard the name and really liked it. I was given the middle name of Pearl because that was my grandma's middle name. My grandma's name was Ada Pearl. I always thought it would've been funny if my parents had given me her first name instead of her middle. Meghan Ada Weiner. That would've made my life a hoot and a half. Sorry, i'm getting myself sidetracked with things that are irrelevant. I tend to tell stories that have no end and sometimes they have no beginnings...but I do have a lot of stor...