Some days I sing, some days I don't.

I started this blog because I wanted to be funny and make people laugh, but the harsh reality of this world is that sometimes even the funniest person can cry the hardest.

In the past 2 years I have lost both my parents and my sister was killed.

Sometimes I'm OK and can function properly.  Sometimes I don't even want to get out of bed, but I do because even though I may suffer from depression, my bills don't and they still have to get paid. The worst part are the dreams...I have dreams all the time of either my mom, my dad, my sister, or a combination of the 3.

I have a lot of dreams where I go back in time and warn my sister not to go walking on that beach. I warn her that she will die if she goes. I tell her everything and we end up laughing at how crazy I sound. She's safe. She's always safe. However, I wake up and reality hits and I know that she's not safe and the accident did happen.

I have dreams where my parents are alive as well.

Some days I'm OK and I don't cry. Some days I cry on my drive home from work because the pain is just too much.

Some days I turn on the radio and I sing at the top of my lungs. Some days I turn the radio on and I don't sing at all.

And you know what? That's ok.

I had a girl tell me at work one day that I can't ever take anything serious. Later that afternoon I laughed about it as I drove home and could barely see the road because I was crying so hard. Sometimes the tears come without a trigger...sometimes I'll hear something and it'll set me off. One day I had Pandora going and some random One Direction song came on and suddenly I had a flashback to the moment I was in the gym and I got the call that my dad was being transferred to the hospital and had, had a stroke. I can't say for sure if it was the song playing at that exact moment, but I do know it made me unbelievably sad to hear it.

So just be prepared that while I'll try to be soft hearted and have fun, there will be times where I'm not funny and just need to type some feelings out.

Some days I sing. Some days I dont.